Shijo-Tsushin #22 April, 2001I just got through reading all your messages in article #20, about what it's like to be 'branded' a returnee in your own country. It has inspired me to write about my own experiences, even though I am not Japanese.......
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| My mom & dad in their youth |
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If you asked me what I am, I really could not tell you, as far as nationality is concerned. Because I spent 30 years of my life in Okinawa!!
To give you an idea how mixed-up my background is, my mother is German-Chinese, my father is Black American. Because of my father's profession, showbusiness, I spent most of my childhood moving around from place to place. First, I was born in Tokyo (!) and then we moved to Hongkong. After that Dad got a steady job playing on the US Military bases in Okinawa, so we settled there when I was 11 yrs old I went to American School in the days when Japanese Lessons did not exist on the school curriculum, so although I can speak it fairly well, I cannot read or write Kanji properly.
My passport is Hongkong BNO (British National Overseas) which means I don't belong either to England OR China, let alone Japan. After 30 years in Japan, I am still on Long Term Resident Visa because Japan Immigration doesn't quite know what to do with my mother & I.
I am telling you all this to say, don't tell me what it feels like to be different because I was born that way. I went through a long period struggling with my identity crises, to the point where I used to cry when I watched "Miss Universe" on TV. Simply because I had no idea what country would be put on my sash if I was a contestant..Miss Blank? Miss Not-Applicable??
The first glimmer of hope appeared during our first debate in my Ethnic Studies class in highschool. My teacher split the class into two groups, white & black. (In the 70's there were no Japanese students at our school)
After arranging the seats into two straight rows facing each other, Sensei asked the leaders of each group to make a list of the members in their team. When the lists were handed in, he read out the names and the students sat down as their names were called.
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| LEFT: Me, at 9yrs old. RIGHT: Hanging out at Asakusa. (I love matsuris!!) |
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When he finished calling out all the names, it was quite clear where I stood. Nowhere. Everyone was sitting down except ME! No-one had included me in their list.......I was completely devastated and wanted to die right on the spot! (Everyone looked very sheepish and ashamed.)
It could have turned into a nightmare, but fortunately, we had a very clever teacher. He pulled out his own chair, put it right in the middle facing the two rows of debaters and said : "Here, Rachelle, THIS is your seat!" Feeling some relief, I sat down in Sensei's chair and the debate began.
I spent the first few minutes feeling very sorry for myself but the heated nature of the debate began to draw my attention. After half an hour of watching the whites and the blacks argue over how THEY were right and the OTHER SIDE was wrong, etc. etc., it suddenly dawned on me that ALL OF THEM WERE STUPID. Ha! Ha!
Each side was so blinded by their own limitation of category (I am white caucasian, I am Japanese etc.)that they could not even see the BIG PICTURE at all!!? That's when I realized that my teacher had done a great thing. Without realizing it, he had helped me to see that there is more to us than just nationality, race, and other such limiting labels and concepts. I personally think it would have been better if he had each of the other students take turns sitting in my middle seat. It would have widened their perspective tremendously.
From that day on, I was able to handle "Where are you from" questions with style and humour. To this day when someone asks me that question, my answer is: "Earth." (Chikyu-jin desu!)
The point of all this is, we don't always have control over the things happen in our lives but we must always remember this: no matter what your situation or nationality is, you have to learn to accept just being YOU.
There is only one YOU in this whole universe, no matter WHAT other people say.Instead of feeling bad, go out and do something helpful! Don't let all that international experience go to waste. In Japan especially, there are thousands of people who are struggling with being 'different.' The Ainu, the Okinawans, foreigners, orphans, disabled people, sick people, AIDs sufferers, Cancer victims, homeless men and women, Burakumin descendants, the list is ENDLESS.
In my opinion, they all need someone like YOU to help them. Nevermind what your ignorant peers-friends-relatives say or do, most of them have no idea of whats going on anyway! Don't let your future goal be wasted on amassing Louis Vuitton Bags, for gods sake.
Japan is suffering a social crises and even if she will never admit it, it doesn't matter. You are the only ones who CAN see beyond the borders and know what's out there. Study counseling, Tokyo English Lifeline offers free telephone counsellor courses in return for your helping out once a week or so. Their training could help you learn how to handle problems. (editors' note: It's a happy coincidence that we are publishing a call for volunteers by TELL in this same issue.) I'm sure there are also other organizations that would welcome you with open arms because they NEED YOUR SKILLS!
All of you hold the key to a treasure-chest filled with gold. Please wake up and move forward, not backwards. If Japan is to be part of the global village, it will be up to people like you to help your country make that transition.
I must warn you though, do it out of your love for your people and not because you want any reward. Because people like you and me will never be rewarded or recognized by society as such. The key then, is for us to get our reward from our own accomplishments. And to be happy because we do make a difference.
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| Meet my United Nations family!
me w/ straw hat |
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Please do not read this and say, "Sugoi desu-ne." And then go back to being depressed again. If you find it hard to go it alone, get other members to join you on your mission. Or, turn to God. I am not religious, but I know it can help you to feel less alone. Plus, perhaps you might find christian groups (that are mixed with foreigners and Japanese) will be more in tune with your thinking. Whatever you do, do take time to shop around first. After all, you are making a Life Decision, not a shopping purchase.
Whatever you decide on, I wish you all the success in the world. And lots of good luck. We are going to need it. Just follow your heart, it will always lead you in the right direction. (You don't even need to tell anybody what you're up to, so long as you're true to YOURSELF!)
Remember that, fellow Earthlings. We have a mission to help others and make Earth a better place to live in for the future generations. So, JUST GO OUT THERE AND DO IT! It's the only key to true happiness.
Thank you for reading my long letter. And may you have a fantastic New Millennium and discover your True Purpose in life.
Gambatte-ne.
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