logo Shijo-Tsushin #20 March, 2000

The FEATURE

People Call Me a Kikokushijo (Returnee)

This article is compiled from discussion in the Japanese section of our Bulletin Board.
The English section of the BBS is here.

Translated by Yumi KOIZUMI from original in Japanese.

Tarokichi

I stayed in the UK for about a year 14 years ago because my father was transferred there. I went to a local school, but for about two months I couldn't go to school for fear that I would fall behind the schoolwork in Japan. I vaguely remember desperately studying Math and Japanese of the Japanese curriculum. I now regret that I have sacrificed a part of myself for keeping up with the Japanese schoolwork.

The classmates were friendly to me in the UK. Some kids bullied me once in a while, but we always made up in the end. I learned to speak a bit of English, which I thought would be a life time treasure for me.

After I came back to Japan, other kids bullied me and didn't want to become friends with me. I was ashamed to speak in English. I almost always ate lunch by myself.

I am now 25 years old, but I cannot really trust people because so far many people said that I was a little different or unique. Everyone is naturally unique, but I was hurt that they made faces when they said that I was unique. I felt as if a nail that sticks out gets hammered down.

I am working on my own since I am not particularly good at being in touch with others. I don't have so many friends. Not many people seem to talk what they really think or take things seriously, so I don't force myself to make friends anymore. What they talk is childish anyway.

I like things traditionally Japanese, so I love rakugo and often go to a stand shot bar called izakaya.

When young people call someone "oyaji" (the old man), they may not literally mean someone old but someone who goes to rakugo and has a drink at izakaya with the typical red lantern. Those who say that it is oyaji-like to enjoy yakitori and Japanese sake may have lost the pride for our country.

cat1

Enomo

I am also a so-called returnee.
What I hate the most about being a returnee is that people say "Oh, she is a returnee after all" or "She's grown up abroad" as if that is something special. Honestly I can hardly stand other people introducing me as a returnee to someone I meet for the first time or knowingly commenting, "Well, I'm sure you feel that way after living abroad for so long" when I say something unique for a Japanese. Especially when people refer to me as a returnee at the first meeting, I get a little depressed and wonder if I have no other characteristics that people can recognize.

I'm sure many of you have had a similar experience, but let me tell you that my case is a little more complex. You see, some of the returnees whom I thought were in the same situation as I think that I am different and an authentic returnee. They rank the returnees. Those who lived in the metropolitan areas for 3 or 4 years and went to Japanese school are considered close to "pure" Japanese. People like me who went to the local school and lived abroad for 7 years are regarded as authentic returnees.

Many people envy me for being able to speak in English, but you forget the language if you don't use it. Moreover, my Japanese ability is not enough because the input of the Japanese language during my childhood was limited. I didn't particularly study English but naturally acquired it in my daily life after I went to the US when I was six. Therefore, when people praise my English, I feel insulted because that is very much like saying "Oh, you speak such good Japanese" to a Japanese. Am I too stubborn to feel like this?