Where could I find a place for my daughter to be accepted as she is and not treated as strange?
Shijo-Tsushin #15 April 1998
I started working part time when they were three and just before one, and I took them to the nursery. After several months, one of the teachers wanted to talk to me about the older daughter. The teacher said that my daughter was a bit different from other children of the same age. This was the beginning of everything.
I got a little angry saying that everybody is different. The teacher repeatedly pointed out the oddness of actions and attitude of my daughter and advised me to have her take psychological tests. I regarded my daughter only as unique and took her to the child development center just to verify that she was normal.
She soon entered public elementary school. Although apprehensive, I had her tested from educational, psychological, and medical perspectives at local care centers. When she was in the 2nd grade, she was finally diagnosed to have "learning disabilities".
At that time the counselor at the center and I had good relationships, and my daughter was happy to have training at the center. In school, however, no friends nor teachers understood about learning disabilities, so my daughter often resisted going to school. In the 3rd grade the situation got better because her sister entered the same school and made her aware of the fact that she was an "older sister" and "senior". Her teacher was understanding, and my daughter grew up a lot.
Since she was now approaching the junior high school, I recently took her to the LD specialized clinic. Here she was diagnosed as not to have learning disabilities but mentally retarded, having lower IQ. To be honest I was shocked, but at the same time I was thinking 'so what?' The doctor said, "The important thing is to teach her to be independent, so that she could live on her own in the real world."
In school her academic progress is so behind and she is not getting additional assistance of any kind. Her teacher is too busy looking after a 31-student class. My daughter has learned in the past 5 years how to kill time in classes, fantasizing or even sleeping. She is, on the other hand, eager to take her favorite classes or club activities.
Because she cannot communicate well enough, she has few friends. On the contrary she is very caring for younger children, and she is very popular among elderly people. She is friendly and greets everybody she meets.
I asked the teacher to help her specifying what kind of assistance she needs, but I am still wondering what are the best ways to care for her. Especially what will become of her in junior high school? She will have much more difficulty in study but also in social life as a teenager.
The local authorities cannot offer any realistic solutions. They only say, "So do you want to put your daughter in school for handicapped?" This does not solve anything because such school has its own advantages and disadvantages. There is also a special school for kids who do not adjust to general schools, but it is far away and very expensive. I've also heard that they won't consider attending such special schools as obliging the compulsory education in the area we live.
Where could I find a place for my daughter to be accepted as she is and not treated as strange?
I always read "Shijo-Tsushin" with great interest and affinity. I suppose it is not only me to put the word "the handicapped" in the place of "returnees" on your columns and felt encouraged.
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